15 months on.





The amount of photos this kid gets taken of him in the bath. Jeez. If the feds show up and arrest us I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

This is where I put his stats for the month, except this time I don't know the stats. I don't know how much he weighs right now or how tall he is. We probably won't know until the 16 month, but I'll put it to you this way: he makes my arm hurt when I have to hold him for more than approximately five seconds without the assistance of my hip or my other arm. I always feel like I'm about to drop him.

Now that I think about it, I don't know why I keep trying to hold him with just one arm. And my left arm, at that. Maybe I just like living life dangerously? Maybe I'm just exhausted from my work day and I forget about safety and how it should be first, second and always? We may never know.

Before I go into his ups and downs, I want to point out a huge up that is going to get people to make one of those noises that indicates that they don't care, and make other mothers feel really proud of their little ones. Especially other mothers who have, say, four month olds.

If you look at that second photo up there you will see our gorgeous Mister Man holding his bottle, happily watching In The Night Garden, a.k.a. Baby Crack. I frantically took this photo one evening because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. That is my son! And he's feeding himself his bottle! FINALLY! My mother in law was over. She cheered! We smiled! There were probably around 40 photos taken between the two of us.

You see, this is a big deal. At over a year old, my son has never held his bottle. Has never attempted. Yes, in our minds we were worried but every time we have brought worries of this nature up to a doctor the response is usually "just give it time". So we do. Also, James has never really liked a bottle. He merely tolerated them until we gave him more sweet potato. I'd ever go as far as say he hated his bottles. If he could have, he would have given his bottles a swift kick to the nuts. The chances of him ever holding the bottle himself was about as likely as me willingly getting out the vacuum and doing something about the dust balls on the floor -- no fecking chance.

But, lately something has changed. A few weeks ago, after illness number 8744365389756 where we were medically advised to only give him water and take away all solids until his insides straightened themselves out, he just started to absolutely LOVE bottles. Would gobble the whole damn things well before In The Night Garden came on. During Waybaloo! What do we do with all this time, I would say? And why isn't someone in this house crying? This makes no sense! And that's when I would punch Bub in the stomach. I had to even out the universe.

So, Bub and I discussed it. Should we just give him the bottle and see what he will do with it? No, I'd say, that ship has sailed.

Ah. There was my mistake. I gave Bub the opportunity to prove me wrong. He can not pass up such a challenge. Being right just tastes too lovely.

He gave it to him. Guided his hands a bit so James knew was he was doing and then walked away. And up there in that glorious photo is the result. He drank the whole bottle on his own that night.

Now, I mentioned this to a mommy. I won't say who or from where but know that she's a stinkin' whore.

Me: You'll never believe it! Mister Man held his own bottle! YAY! EXCITEMENT!
Her: Oh. My daughter has been doing that since four months.
CRASH

Well good for her daughter. I hope they give medals for that in the fecking Olympics. She'll be a prize winner yet!

Lesson of the day? When someone pisses in your cornflakes, they deserve a slap in the mouth. Deliver said slap.

OOOOKAY. So. Here we go.

Ups:
DRANK HIS BOTTLE ON HIS OWN!11!! OMGWTFLOL! Yeah, we thought it was pretty great, I guess.
Is walking pretty confidently with a walker. I know, I know, your kid did that at two months, or something.
Very happy at creche, now. Jumps into the arms of the creche girl when we show up.
Words! "All gone", "Balloon", "Ut oh!", "Walk" and other useful exclamations.

Downs:
If this child would stay healthy for more than four minutes, we might die of happiness.
Likes going to bed less and less. Might have to sleep train again after all that has happened over the last few months.
Bangs. On. Everything.
Molars. Jeezycreezy can these mother effers please come in already. The kid spends 80% of his time with two fingers going to each side of his mouth. He looks like he's trying to whistle but nothing is coming out. Tragic.

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Liz in Dublin