But they have a mock fly and real back pockets.
Email exchange between my mother and I:
Mom: Hi Honey, I've ordered you something special this morning! Love, Mom (I sent a link to my mother for a pair of earrings I saw at baublebar.com and so thought this could be my surprise.)
Me: Oooooh, is it a pony?? (I obviously decided to play dumb.)
Mom: It's better than a pony!!!!! (Notice the five exclamation points. I'm thinking this has got. to. be. good.)
Me: Is it an Aston Martin? (Because that would be good.)
Mom: No Aston Martin for you... it's PAJAMA JEANS!!!! (...)
I genuinely, deep in my heart, know she isn't joking.
And I genuinely, deep in my heart, know that even though I mentally reject such a concept as pajama jeans now, when I receive them I will end up wearing them instead of real jeans, setting me off on a shame spiral of embarrassment, acceptance, embarrassment of my acceptance and then just laziness. Repeat.