Do you actually say "citizens arrest"?
Today I went from being a person who has never been mugged to a person who has been mugged. It's a weird transition but I think I'm taking it well so far.
I was going to go pick up our camera from the camera hospital when I stopped to take out money from the ATM before the bridge on Baggot Street. I am one of those people who covers the key pad with my hand when putting in my password, and I always check to make sure the ATM card slot hasn't been tampered with. Obviously what I don't check is if creepy, short, disgusting shit-heads are over my shoulder because today he was there.
Without getting into too much detail, he distracted and confused me with a news paper over the ATM screen after I punched in my code, spoke in a foreign language and then pressed the buttons. It wasn't until I heard the "money-is-being-counted-and-is-coming-your-way" sound that I realized he punched a button on the screen and was about to take my money. Okay, that was a lot of detail wasn't it?
I noticed in enough time to hit his arm which lead to him not being able to grab the €200 that he tried to rob, and enough give him enough of a shock that he didn't instantly run once I hit him. He slammed me against a wall and then some absolutely AMAZING bystanders interjected and pinned him up on the wall by his throat. I thought to scream "CITIZENS ARREST!!" just like Gomer taught me on the Andy Griffith Show all those years ago, but then I said to myself, "Do people actually SAY that?" No, of course they don't and that's not going to stop him from trying to get away.
He struggled a lot, hit, punched and even BIT one of the guys breaking the skin. They held on for as long as they could but in the end he did get away and I stood there shaken but unscathed. We called the gards but since he didn't actually steal anything from me, and had run like a bat out of hell, there was no way they were going to get him. They said they would patrol the area looking for the man we described but I'm bet you that €200 nothing will ever come of it. I know that I would feel about a billion times worse if he not only gotten away like he did, but also with my money in his pocket.
The whole thing happened like a blur and for the next hour I shook and sweated in a way that I'm sure most men would find VERY attractive. I was sopping wet by the time I got back to the office where my boss and director took care of me, calmed me down (which in Ireland means GIVE HER TEA! STAT!) and then sent me home. I am very lucky to have such an understanding employer. Who else gets mugged (potentially mugged?) in the poshest area of Dublin on a crowded street?
I am feeling a lot better being home with my husband, who is an angel and came home early as soon as he heard. He has also fed me with tea and chocolate and has put on The Devil Wears Prada for me. I spoke to my mom, as well, who has taken on all the stress of my experience like a mother does so now I don't have a headache but she is downing Excedrin. Sorry mom.
So, if you are out and about this week and you see a 5'4'', skinny, disgusting, piece of shit walking around, kick him in the balls for me. Hard.