"Dude, if you wake the baby I will throw you out a window"... and other polite things to say to your friends.
I just went through a night of having three children under the age of two in our house and nothing happening. I sit here amazed that there weren’t at least two meltdowns (by the children) and one cat fight (between the mothers). The whole evening went by with all children sleeping and no need to kill anyone for waking the baby. My brain did not implode. I call this a success.
I don’t ever remember a dinner date ever taking so much effort to coordinate. First there was the strategic cleaning of the house where Bub volunteered to take Mister Man out for a few hours while I dusted and vacuumed without worrying about disturbing/waking/annoying the baby. This was incredibly helpful as I finished more in those two hours than I have in the 2,568 hours I have been home with Mister Man.
Then there was the brief baking I did to make sure there was something for dessert after our take-out meals. I’m a horrible cook but a pretty good baker so I like to dazzle people with my ability to make yummy cookies and cakes. This is how I keep my friends -- fatten them up so they can't get away at great speed. However, doing this with Jammers under your feet is dangerous and irritating. He likes attention. So do peanut butter cookies. Who wins? Exactly. And I made the mistake of making these while he was going down to bed. That only took 45 minutes of screaming and Bub’s intervention.
Finally, it was getting everyone into the house without waking anyone under three feet tall. I shushed and gave dirty looks to whoever spoke above the noise level of the dead. We managed to order food, have it delivered, engage in lively conversation, laugh, drink wine and eat WITHOUT ONE CHILD CRYING.
I think we used up all of our good luck for one year. See you in 2010, my friends!