Just in case my brain becomes a sieve.
I created this blog to remember my pregnancy and then to update people, primarily my mother, about James' progress from over the ocean. I rarely did that when I was pregnant. Maybe because I thought the entire process was less than glamorous what with the nausea, sciatica, constipation, uncontrollable bleeding, hospital stay, sleepless and anxious nights and the painful c-section and, now, recovery. But, just like Angelina Jolie, I felt sexy the whole time, I swear.
Now that seven of my eight complaints are in the past I regret not keeping a more detailed record of all of those moments. Even when some of them sucked, some of them were absolutely amazing. Telling our parents and then later our friends and employers and being blown away by everyone's happiness. The first sign of morning sickness. Seeing his heartbeat. The first morning I woke up without feeling like death (week 14). The first few flutters that I figure were just muscle spasms. The first proper kick I felt. Finding out he was a he. The first kick Bub felt (Budget day!). Our "4D" scan. Hearing his heartbeat. Getting to know the little person inside of me, even though we had never actually met.
From now on I will make sure to write out all moments from the diapers and the feeding problems, to his first steps and words. This will be something I can look back on to smile and cry, wondering where my little boy went when he does finally start doing things on his own, little by little. I know without a doubt these are things that should never be forgotten nor exaggerated upon. Like, when I say that he threw up the entire contents worth of his stomach onto my perfectly clean, black top, I want it to be true, I just embellished because the smell made me feel like a toilet after a frat party. A girl should at least get the pity party she deserves. These are the memories that while unconventional will make me, or, you know, someone, smile for years to come.