Simon Cowell in a Santa sack is my dream.
Only one more working week until Christmas and I am already on holidays in my brain. In my mind I am continually playing with a Clockwork Train and eating a candycane under a shiny Christmas tree. The chances of me being productive while at work this coming week is about as likely as this guy ever being president. Mostly because his name is ridiculous and those middle states would be in trouble.
The Christmas shopping is THISCLOSE to being done and I have to say THANK FUCK FOR THAT. I normally don't like to drop the f-bomb (and even now I feel bashful about reading that last sentence back to myself. New years resolution: stop being 12.) but we were at the mall last week doing some grocery shopping and moving became difficult. And then I was in town this past Friday with my boss getting a new duvet cover for the bed and even the prospect of a few cocktails as a reward of braving the crowd didn't even put me off of the idea of offing myself. If I HAD to go to the mall and do all of my shopping this week I would give gifts the Friends way and get as many as I could from a gas station. It would be Fanta and car fresheners for all.
All I want for Christmas is for my TV set to be hung and not in front of the fire place and to have Simon Cowell and his armpit shown always. CAN YOU HEAR ME SANTA? SIMON COWELL'S PIT!
And so we don't leave this post on that note, our favorite Christmas tree ornament: