10 things I learned while visiting the US
- Eating food that you can dip in other food is a lot better than just eating like normal people.
9. Those Platinum Weddings bitches need a good, swift kick to the head and I'd be more than happy to deliver.
8. Shopping at 8am the day after Thankgsiving is a BAD IDEA and might result in bad behavior while in public.
7. Your cell phone will not work while standing right in front of Chelsea Market no matter how long and loud you yell at it.
6. If I could live in an Apple store I would.
5. Crotchless SPANX are awesome. I should wear all of my underpants like this.
4. Richard Gere should never try and play Bob Dylan. Cate Blanchette should only EVER play Bob Dylan.
3. If your pilot ever dedicates a flight to Evel Knievel, get off.
2. When Oprah tells you to buy really ugly boots, you do it.
1. If there is ever a wedding where the guests determine the amount of children the couple are going to have by throwing chestnuts at them, then go. It's totally worth it.
We're back in Dublin and adjusting.