An anniversary conversation
"I didn't get you anything for our anniversary."
"Good. I didn't get you anything either."
"I'm serious. Because we don't do anniversary presents, right?"
"I am also serious. I didn't get you anything."
"I'm just checking so you're not disappointed later."
"I really didn't get you anything, Gar."
"Okay, good. Because we don't do presents. We never have."
My office, 10.30am:
That, my friends, is called getting away with lying in marriage.
Happy anniversary, darling.