Let ye be warned.
My friend Rebecca and I were talking at the doctor's office at my six week postpartum checkup. We couldn't believe how much hubbub someone makes about the birth of a baby. Both of our children came six weeks early (we know each other because Mister Man and her son shared a room in the SCBU and we happen to share an OB) -- I had a c-section and she had the quickest labor ever - 3 hours. While having a c-section isn't easy, and pushing anything out of your vagina can't be a treat, we both recognize that we had it relatively easy labor wise. No hours and hour of pushing, no horrible contractions, no seeing the MUCUS PLUG. However, no one has ever said a damn thing about what happens once these bundles of joys come home. NO ONE. Not friends, not family, not the hospital. NEXT TIME A LITTLE WARNING PLEASE.
I know it's universally known that new parents do not get sleep. Your child needs to eat often, much more than an adult, and does not want to sleep through the hunger because he was up late last night watching reruns of Law & Order SVU. I just didn't think or know or consider or fathom the idea that he would wake up JUST BECAUSE. He might be hungry, he might be wet, but usually he's just AWAKE. I thought babies needed tons of sleep? Shouldn't you just be able to get them up, feed them and then have them lulled back to sleep in a milk coma? I know if you give me copious amount of my favorite food, I want to rub my belly while cozying into my duvet. Mister Man wants to make grunting noises and watch the new episodes of 90210. If I wasn't dying to know when Annie and Ethan we going to get together I'd be a lot more pissed at 4am. There are people out there who say their baby slept peacefully through the night at four/six/eight weeks and since then have not faltered in their lovely sleep patterns and because of this these mothers have wonderful hair, and makeup and there isn't a stray body hair left on their well-rested bodies. These mothers can bite me.
My mommy friends tells me that this will pass, it will get easier and this is a mommy rite of passage, and I have no doubt they are right. They have all been through it and none of them have left their baby outside to be raised by wolves. I just don't see an end in sight at the moment and instead I see myself, eight months from now, going back to work when he is 11 months old and still having to get up in the middle of the night to feed him after just putting him down at midnight. I then go to work and I get fired after falling asleep under my desk. And the real kick in the pants? My mother is still here right now so when she goes home in a few weeks it will be that. much. harder.
So, I will do here what I feel no one did for me - Mommies-to-be: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.