Stage five is right around the corner.

Recently I haven’t really felt like updating my blog because I feel like I had nothing good to update it with. Yes, Mister Man, Bub and I are all okay. We are a happy little family over here in Dublin. Sure, Mister Man throws some noisy and messy parties in his newly acquired room, but he’s always there to clean up the puke the next morning. What more can we ask for?

However, two weeks ago today I found out some pretty shit news about my family. My mother has been diagnosed with cancer.

At first I was shocked. Then physically sick to my stomach. Next was pure anger and insulting friends and family by asking them to pray for my mother because I can’t since I don’t believe in a god. I’m pretty sure that is considered cheating.

Right now I’m just sad. And, yes, I have just realized that I have gone through four of the seven stages of grieving. At least I am more than halfway to acceptance, although right now there isn’t a light at the end of this tunnel for me and so it’s a day by day thing. I call my mom to check in, I judge how well she is really doing by her voice and not her words. My mother, even when diagnosed with cancer, having her lungs collapse, and going through hard-core treatment, will be stoic and act like everything is a-okay. Hell, it might really all be a-okay; who am I to say it isn’t? She has on numerous occasions pointed out the up side to this cancer diagnosis:

No need to shave the legs
Free stuff from the American Cancer Society
Weight loss

I’m starting to realize that if you can’t look on the bright side of life when douchebag diseases have got you down, then you don’t deserve to ever look at all. This is what the bright side is for.

So, here I am, at a quarter to one in the morning writing a blog post to assure myself that it is going to get better as long as we keep looking at the positive like my mom already started doing at the beginning of it all. I just need to catch up.

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Liz in Dublin