Winfrey / DeGeneres 2008.

If you know anything about me at this point it's I have an iPhone and I really hate paperwork. I also am rather lazy, and a registered Libertarian. Not a LIBRARIAN. They like books. I think paying taxes is a violation of my constitutional rights, especially since I am not a resident of the US anymore, and I am not represented in Congress as a American living outside of the country. And I like books.

But, here I am, just sending out my tax forms to the IRS in Texas. Every year I contact my accountant who sends on a LONG AND UGLY sheet of questions for me to painstakingly answer. I inevitably don't understand a few of the questions and every year I'm all, Hey, what's the difference between "gross" and "net", and he's all, THE MEAGER CHEQUE YOU WRITE ME ISN'T WORTH THIS, and then he does my taxes.

The US and Brazil are the only two countries (as far as I can tell) that requires their citizens abroad to file taxes every year, even though they have not made anything in the country, nor have they availed of any of the perks of living there. Like the affordable health care. If I made over $84,500, which equals about €10, I have to pay the US for the privileged of not living in the country. Luckily, I only get paid €5 at this gig so I'm good for another year.

If I were ever to renounce my American citizenship, this would be the reason. That, and if they make Hillary Clinton President. I'm voting for Oprah.

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Liz in Dublin